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Bat Mitzvah
Dec. 9th, 2006 03:55 pmYesterday, I flew to Scottsdale for a long weekend to attend my cousin's Bat Mitzvah. My parents and my brother's family have also come. We all took separate planes due to our various schedules, and my parents remarked that they preferred it that way so that the whole family wouldn't be lost if there were an accident. Ah, the ways in which my parents can worry still astound me! They wanted me to have dinner with them before they left, in case it were to be the last time. Not wanting to be an enabler, I declined. My trip was uneventful. However, I had less than an hour to settle into my room and change (during which my nephews made their boisterous appearance) before I had to go to the Friday night Shabbat services.
Services turned out to be quite an event. First, the rabbi and cantor were married and conducted a musical service with a band (in order to try to broaden the appeal and get more people interested). Plus there was much food. It was actually very nice. Many of the tunes for the prayers have been updated, but it was easy enough for me to follow along. I was amazed at how much of the service came flooding back to me. When I had gone to hebrew school before my bar mitzvah, I had learned how to conduct an entire service in Hebrew. With the help of the transliteration, I was able to follow along (this was a reform service, so only portions of it were in Hebrew, but more than I expected). I said a Mourner's Kaddish for my friend's partner and while I know it wasn't his tradition, it felt right to do.
The rabbi discussed the torah reading for the week. It was the section describing the flight of Jacob from his estranged brother Esau, and tells of how he spent all night wrestling with a stranger whom he thought was divine and in the morning received the name Yisrael, which literally means, he who struggles with God. The rabbi interpreted this story as a parable about it being healthy to question one's faith and pointed out that one's relationship with God grows and changes over one's lifetime, just like any other relationship. This had great meaning for me since this feature of Judaism is one of the main reasons that I remain Jewish. It's not about blind faith, but about coming to one's own faith when one is ready.
Then the group of us, me, my parents, my brother, sister-in-law, my two nephews, my cousin, her father, her husband, his brother, and their two children (one of whom was the Bat Mitzvah) all went for what turned out to be a very difficult dinner. There was unpleasantness from my cousin's father about being seated outside, then the service was painfully slow to the point that my nephews both fell asleep before the food arrived. All in all, it took two hours to get our food, which turned out to be very good when it finally arrived. We all skipped dessert and returned to the hotel. I was driving with my parents, who could not agree on the directions and kept getting us lost. Oy vey! I was exhausted when we finally got back and crashed, but did not sleep comfortably because the hotel beds are much too soft for me.
This morning was the Bat Mitzvah service and my brother and I had an Aliyah together, as did my parents. It was very moving and I was very glad to have traveled over 2000 miles to be there for it, especially since none of our other cousins chose to come. We are all resting for the afternoon, before we return for the evening reception. Then tomorrow morning we are going to the cemetery for my aunt's and cousin's gravestone unveilings and then to a museum with the kids. In the meantime, the weather is gorgeous here, so I may take a dip in the pool.
Services turned out to be quite an event. First, the rabbi and cantor were married and conducted a musical service with a band (in order to try to broaden the appeal and get more people interested). Plus there was much food. It was actually very nice. Many of the tunes for the prayers have been updated, but it was easy enough for me to follow along. I was amazed at how much of the service came flooding back to me. When I had gone to hebrew school before my bar mitzvah, I had learned how to conduct an entire service in Hebrew. With the help of the transliteration, I was able to follow along (this was a reform service, so only portions of it were in Hebrew, but more than I expected). I said a Mourner's Kaddish for my friend's partner and while I know it wasn't his tradition, it felt right to do.
The rabbi discussed the torah reading for the week. It was the section describing the flight of Jacob from his estranged brother Esau, and tells of how he spent all night wrestling with a stranger whom he thought was divine and in the morning received the name Yisrael, which literally means, he who struggles with God. The rabbi interpreted this story as a parable about it being healthy to question one's faith and pointed out that one's relationship with God grows and changes over one's lifetime, just like any other relationship. This had great meaning for me since this feature of Judaism is one of the main reasons that I remain Jewish. It's not about blind faith, but about coming to one's own faith when one is ready.
Then the group of us, me, my parents, my brother, sister-in-law, my two nephews, my cousin, her father, her husband, his brother, and their two children (one of whom was the Bat Mitzvah) all went for what turned out to be a very difficult dinner. There was unpleasantness from my cousin's father about being seated outside, then the service was painfully slow to the point that my nephews both fell asleep before the food arrived. All in all, it took two hours to get our food, which turned out to be very good when it finally arrived. We all skipped dessert and returned to the hotel. I was driving with my parents, who could not agree on the directions and kept getting us lost. Oy vey! I was exhausted when we finally got back and crashed, but did not sleep comfortably because the hotel beds are much too soft for me.
This morning was the Bat Mitzvah service and my brother and I had an Aliyah together, as did my parents. It was very moving and I was very glad to have traveled over 2000 miles to be there for it, especially since none of our other cousins chose to come. We are all resting for the afternoon, before we return for the evening reception. Then tomorrow morning we are going to the cemetery for my aunt's and cousin's gravestone unveilings and then to a museum with the kids. In the meantime, the weather is gorgeous here, so I may take a dip in the pool.
